Change

To say that I have been having wild transformative experiences would be the understatement of the year. This is the year of Gigantic, and I feel gigantic change in the mix. Personal, spiritual and emotional change. Self-reflection is an incredibly powerful and exhausting process. This week I have been having doozy upon doozy of amazing, hard, awesome, and painful revelations of my past, of my present, of the way I changed when I got married, of my style of parenting… of where I feel I need to go. I feel like screaming on the top of a mountain and charging at the cold and rigid sea. Something powerful has been unlocked. The mad old bear. As my son so perfectly described in his play the other day, “Time to lock up the predator, time to lock up the mad old bear.” Only now it is time to unlock the mad old bear, to unlock the predator within me.
This all started from reading the amazingly prolific book by Gabor Mate called, “When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress”. What an INCREDIBLE book.

Like the above photograph details, I can see hope shining through the cracks, chips and cuts of my true self. There is depth in the earthly colors of my soul, it shines out in the contrast of its environment. I see the messiness, I see the dirt, I see the dust, I see the old decay and it is perfect, it tells my story, it is my story. I am at peace with it.